For Faith, Marriage, Family, and the Home
compiled by Papa (Charlie), Lydiyah, and Rivqah Coover (03-2006)
A. Faith: It Is Very Important That One Marry Yahweh First And Foremost.
1. Salvation for His called out ones (His Bride)
Joel 2:32
And it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call upon te Name of Yahweh shall be delivered, for in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as Yahweh hath spoken, and in the remnant whom Yahweh shall call.
2. Obedience to His Word versus belief alone
John 14:15
If ye love Me, keep My instructions.
James 2:20-26
But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the alter? Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect? And the Scripture was fulfilled which saith, 'Abraham believed Elohim, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness, and he was called the friend of Yahweh.' Ye see then, how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only. Likewise also, was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way? For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
3. Moral backbone and conviction
Joshua 24:14-15
Now therefore, fear Yahweh, and serve Him in sincerity, and in truth, and put away the elohim which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt, and serve ye Yahweh. And if it seem evil unto you to serve Yahweh, choose you this day whom you will serve, whether the elohim which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the elohim of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve Yahweh (the Elohim of all creation and salvation).
4. We shall be known by our fruits.
Matthew 7:16-21
Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs or thistles? Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit, but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that beingeth not forth good fruit is hewn down and cast into the fire. Wherefore, by their fruits ye shall now them. Not everyone that saith unto Me, “Master, Master”, shall enter into the Kingdom of Yahweh, but he that doeth the will of My Father which is in Heaven.
5. Fruitfulness in multiplying in “new” members of the body and in being spiritual ourselves.
John 15:16
Ye have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in My Name, He may give it to you.
John 17:18, 20
As Thou hast sent Me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on Me through their word.
6. Exhortation (Expressing concern for and interest in those around us)
Leviticus 19:17
Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart; thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him.
Ezekiel 3:18-19
When I say unto the wicked, “Thou shalt surely die,” and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity, but thou hast delivered thy soul.
a. Giving exhortation
1 Timothy 5:1-3
Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father, and the younger men as brethren, the elder women as mothers, the younger as sisters with all purity. Honor widows that are widows indeed.
2 Timothy 2:24-26
And the servant of Yahweh must not strive, but be gentle unto all, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves, if Elohim peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth, and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
b. Receiving exhortation
James 3:16-18
For where envying and strife is, there is tumult and unquietness, and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
B. Carrying Over The Spiritual Marriage Relationship Into the Physical
1. Marrying within the faith
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Messiah with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of Elohim with idols? For ye are the temple of the living Elohim, as Elohim hath said, “I will dwell in them, and walk in them, and I will be their Elohim, and they shall be My people.“ ”Wherefore, come out from among them, and be ye separate,“ saith Yahweh, ”and touch not the unclean thing, and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters,“ saith Yahweh Almighty.
2. Entering marriage with a spirit of dependance on Yahweh
Tobit 8:4-8
And after they were both shut in together, Tobiyah rose out of the bed and said, “Sister, arise, and let us pray that Elohim would have pity on us.“ Then began Tobiyah to say, ”Blessed art Thou, O Elohim of our fathers, and blessed is Thy set-apart and splendorous Name forever; let the heavens bless thee, and all thy creatures. Thou madest Adam, and gavest him Chavah his wife for an helper and stay; of them came mankind; Thou hast said, 'It is not good that man should be alone: let us make unto him an aid like to himself.' And now, O Yahweh, I take not this my sister for lust, but uprightly; therefore, mercifully ordain that we may become aged together.“ And she said with him, ”So be it.“
C. The Role Of The Husband And Father
1. Leading the wife with love
Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, even as Messiah also loved the assembly, and gave Himself for it, that He might set it apart and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself a splendorous assembly, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be set apart and without blemish.
Washing our spouse with the water of the Word that they might not have spot or wrinkle
2. Leading the children with love
Ephesians 6:4
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of Yahweh.
3. Honoring the wife
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the favor of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Corinthians 7:4b
.... the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
4. Making wise use of the first year of marriage
Deuteronomy 24:5
When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any manner of business (or have anything pass upon, be laid upon, or required of him), but he shall be free at home (his surrounding area, his home locality, especially “family”, Hebrew # 1004) one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
2 Thessalonians 3:10,13
For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. But ye brethren, be not weary in well doing.
Exodus 20:9
Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work.
Proverbs 6:6-11
Go to the ant, thou sluggard, consider her ways and be wise. Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the Summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep Yes a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep. So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.
We need to be busy, and to manage well what Yahweh has blessed us with.
An idle mind and idle hands are the workshop of HaSatan.
5. Being a good provider
Genesis 3:19a
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat thy bread, till thou return unto the ground, for out of it wast thou taken, for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
1. For his wife and children he is to provide food, clothing, shelter.
2. He is also to be willing to aid relatives and family where able.
3. Then there is the assembly to keep in mind.
“For he that hath shewed no mercy shall have judgment without mercy.... What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, 'Depart in peace, be warmed and filled', nothwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body, what doth it profit? Even so, faith, if it hath not works, is dead being alone. Yea, a man may say, 'Thou hast faith,and I have works.' Shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.“ (James 2:13-18)
Faith is impossible to show without works. Yahshua showed His faith by His many works and miracles.
D. The Role Of The Wife And Mother
1. Being the weaker vessel
1 Peter 3:7
...... the wife as the weaker vessel.....
2. Submitting to the husband, and allowing him to be the stronger one and the leader
a. Respecting quietly and meekly
1 Peter 3:1-4
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conduct of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and or wearing of gold, and of putting on of apparel. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of Elohim of great price.
1 Corinthians 14:33-35a
For Elohim is not the author of tumult or unquietness, but of peace, as in all assemblies of the set-apart ones. Let your women keep silence in the assemblies, for it is not permitted unto them to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the Word. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home....
Sirach 26:14
A silent and loving woman is a gift of Yahweh, and there is nothing so much worth as a mind well instructed.
b. Submitting
Sirach 26:26a
A woman that honoreth her husband shall be judged wise of all.
Genesis 3:16b
.... thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1 Peter 3:5-6
For after this manner in the old time, the set-apart women also who trusted in Elohim adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, “Master”, whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
c. Obeying in all things
1 Corinthians 7:4a
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband....
Titus 2:4-5
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of Elohim be not blasphemed.
Ephesians 5:22-24BR> Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto Yahweh. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Messiah is the head of the Assembly, and He is the Savior of the body Therefore, as the Assembly is subject unto Messiah, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
3. Leading the children with love
Proverbs 31:26-27a
She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the instruction of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household....
E. The Role Of The Children
This is for all of us, for we're all children to someone and/or to Yahweh.
1. Receiving exhortation
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in Yahweh, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother (which is the first instruction with promise), that it might be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, forget not my instructions, but let thine heart keep my commandments: for length of days, and years of life, and peace shall they add to thee.
2. Being a good example
1 Timothy 4:12
Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faithfulness, in purity.
Proverbs 20:11
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.
F. Multi-Generational Perspective
1. Be fruitful and multiply (that is, bearing and raising children)
Genesis 1:28
So Elohim created man in His own Image, in the Image of Elohim created He him, male and female created He them. And Elohim blessed them, and Elohim said unto them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth....”
2. The purpose of raising children
Malachi 2:15a
And did not He make one? Yet had He the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a righteous seed.
Sirach 30:3-4
He that teacheth his son (or giveth him good instruction) grieveth the enemy, and before his friends he shall rejoice of him. Though his father die, yet he is as though he were not dead: for he hath left one behind him that is like himself.
Be blessed with children! And bless the children with good instruction.
G. The In-Laws Relationship
1. An example of how a couple should relate to both sets of parents, and the other way around (in which Tobiyah, the son of Tobit and Anna, marries Sarah, the daughter of Raguel and Edna).
Tobit 8:20-21
Then Raguel called Tobiyah, and said,..... “Take courage, my child. I am your father and Edna is your mother, and we belong to you as well as to your wife now and forever. Take courage, my child.“
Tobit 10:12
Then Raguel kissed his daughter Sarah and said to her, “My daughter, honor your father-in-law and your mother-in-law, since from now on they are as much your parents as those who gave you birth. Go in peace, my daughter, and may I hear a good report about you as long as I live.“ Then he bade them farewell and let them go. Then Edna said to Tobiyah, “My child and dear brother, Yahweh of heaven bring you back safely...... Go in peace, my child. From now on I am your mother, and Sarah is your beloved wife. May we all prosper together all the days of our lives.“ Then she kissed them both and saw them safely off.
Tobit 10:13b
Finally, Tobiyah blessed Raguel and his wife Edna, and said, “I have been commanded by Yahweh to honor you all the days of my life.“
Tobit 11:16-17a
Then Tobit (Tobiyah's father), rejoicing and praising Elohim, went out to meet his daughter-in-law at the gate of Nineveh..... When Tobit met Sarah the wife of his son Tobiyah, he blessed her, saying, “Come in, my daughter, and welcome. Blessed be your Elohim who has brought you to us, my daughter. Blessed be your father and mother, blessed be my son Tobiyah, and blessed be you, my daughter. Come in now to your home, and welcome, with blessing and joy. Come in, my daughter.“
Tobiyah is accepted into Sarah's family circle, and likewise, Sarah is accepted into Tobiyah's family circle. In the same manner, Tobiyah and Sarah readily embrace their parents-in-law, accepting them as worthy of their respect.
2. An example of a father-in-law / son-in-law relationship
Exodus 18:5-9, 13-24
And Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, came with Moses' sons and his wife unto Moses in the wilderness, where he encamped at the mount of Elohim. And he said unto Moses, “I thy father-in-law Jethro am come unto thee, and thy wife, and her two sons with her.“ And Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, and did obeisance, and kissed him; and they asked each other of their welfare, and they came into the tent. And Moses told his father-in-law all that Yahweh had done unto Pharoah and to the Egyptians for Israel's sake, and all the travail that had come upon them by the way, and how Yahweh delivered them. And Jethro rejoiced for all the goodness which Yahweh had done to Israel, whom He had delivered out of the hand of the Egyptians...... And it came to pass in the morning that Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening. And when Moses' father-in-law saw all that he did to the people, he said, “What is this thing that thou doest to the people? Why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even?“ And Moses said unto his father-in-law, ”Because the people come unto me to inquire of Elohim. When they have a matter, they come unto me, and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of Elohim and His instructions.“ And Moses' father-in-law said unto him, ”The thing that thou doest is not good. Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou and this people that is with thee, for this thing is too heavy for thee: thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. Hearken now unto my voice: I will give thee counsel, and Elohim shall be with thee. Be thou for the people to Elohimward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto Elohim, and thou shalt teach them ordinances and instructions, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do. Moreover, thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear Elohim, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. And let them judge the people at all seasons; and it shall be that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee. If thou shalt do this thing, and Elohim command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace.“ So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father-in-law, and did all that he had said.
Notice what the relationship is like between these in-laws. They are glad to see each other, and they love each other. Each one has a personal interest in the affairs of the other, and rejoices for the wellbeing of the other. Likewise, concern is expressed by one for the welfare of the other. Advice is offered by the father-in-law, and is humbly taken to heart and practiced by the son-in-law.
3. An example of a mother-in-law / daughter-in-law relationship
Ruth 1:11-13, 14b,16-17; 2:2, 11-12, 17-19, 22-23
And Naomi said, “Turn again, my daughters: why will you go with me? Are there yet any more sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? Turn again, my daughters, go, for I am too old to have an husband. If I should say, “I have hope”, if I should have a husband also tonight, and should also bear sons, would ye tarry for them till they were grown? Would ye stay for them from having husbands? Nay, my daughters, for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of Yahweh is gone out against me.“ .... But Ruth clave unto her. And Ruth said, ”Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy Elohim my Elohim. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. Yahweh do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.“ And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, ”Let me now go to the field and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I find favor.“ And she said unto her, ”Go, my daughter.“ And Boaz answered and said unto her, ”It hath fully been shewed me all that thou hast done unto thy mother-in-law since the death of thine husband, and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. Yahweh recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of Yahweh Elohim of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.“ So she gleaned in the field until even, and beat out that she had gleaned, and it was about an ephah of barley. And she took it up and went into the city, and her mother-in-law saw what she had gleaned; and she brought forth, and gave to her that she had reserved after she was sufficed. And her mother-in-law said unto her, “Where hast thou gleaned today? And where wroughtest thou? Blessed be he that did take knowledge of thee.“ And she shewed her mother-in-law with whom she had wrought, and said, “The man's name with whom I wrought today is Boaz.” And Naomi said unto Ruth her daughter-in-law, “It is good, my daughter, that thou go out with his maidens, that they meet thee not in another field.“ So she kept fast by the maidens of Boaz to glean until the end of barley harvest and of wheat harvest, and dwelt with her mother-in-law.
Notice what the relationship is like between these in-laws. There is a mutual affection and concern demonstrated for each other. While the mother-in-law is looking out for the daughter-in-law's future and happiness, the daughter-in-law is looking out for the mother-in-law's well being and needs too. We also see Ruth being accountable to her mother-in-law: seeking advice, and also relaying the happenings of her time away from home. Naomi, likewise, expresses an interest in her daughter-in-law's affairs, and instructs her as to where she should go. The daughter-in-law heeds the wisdom of her mother-in-law.
H. Marriage Is A Two-Way Relationship, Where Husband And Wife Reciprocate Praise, Honor, And Respect To Each Other.
1. The Husband
Proverbs 31:28-29
Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praiseth her. “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.“
2. The Wife
Sirach 26:24b
An honest woman will reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:24
Therefore, as the Assembly is subject unto Messiah, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
3. The Husband and Wife Together
1 Corinthians 7:3
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband.